I'm sick and tired of putting up with the false pretense that i'm okay. Because I'm so nawt. You don't know all this do you. I have no idea why must this happen. If things would have come to this in the end then I rather it don't happen in the first place. Now I'm smiling through the days with confusion filling me up like this empty pot being filled with all kinda junk. What we were back then became this story for me to tell. It's no longer valid. It's just this fairytale dream I woke up from. At least you could try to tell me how you feel? That would help make things easier I suppose. If I have this wish, I wish that I could forget everything you gave me to remember if this ending comes like that. Why are we pretending this is nothing? I don't wanna wait anymore. The story of us looks ALOT like a tragedy now. I reckon it's gonna get any better, but if it does, I'm more than happy to accept that.

“And when someone apologizes to you enough times for the things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re not sorry,” and walk away.” Taylor swift.

HAHHA ;) today's been awesomely fruitful and it was a blast!!! :) I'd never forget the screams and the awesome bond I felt today!! :) <3 It was like 80 degrees hawt. But somehow, I din feel it. HAHAH :) I realised it's not easy at all to be in favour in to be liked by everyone no matter how we feel sincere about it, someone would doubt our sincerity. It's difficult. Somehow, it's this feeling of being falsely accused that irks me off. We are reputable for screaming loudly, for that I'm sure. It's what we do ALL the time. We can't help it. It's our screaming hormones kicking up on full overdrive. T.T When we thank you, we mean it. We may sound like we are joking, but deep down, we meant it from the bottom of our hearts. It may be saddening to lose and cry but we would try to retain our tears and smile because of the experience and the time we had spent together :) <3 It's all for one, and one for all.

These days, I've been busier then ever. I small talk(Hardly a common sight), work in the weather. HAHAH <3 Bcoz these things will change. I can see it now. The walls that they put up, will, fall down. It's a revolution. It is the end of a decade, but the start of an age. I try to take the road less travelled by, but nothing seems to work the first few times. How can I ever try to be better when nobody ever lets me in. I dunno what is right. I dunno what is wrong. Neither do I know what you're thinking coz I'm not Edward Cullen. So if I'm wrong, maybe you can try to help and tell me what's wrong. It's not worth the price to pay to hurt someone just to make some other person to like me. I can't please everyone. I walk with my head down, tryna block you out, coz i'd never impress you. The walls that you put up around me, I can feel it. If it actually exists. Coz for a period of time, it absentmindedly become so prominent that it hurts. It's true.

Things changed, people changed. My life changed. I caused a super huge mega continental drift. I'm not happy where I am. Not happy with who I have become. This ain't what I expected it to be. Life without fun, laughter, peace and joy. This sorrow hurts. It hurts like mad. I think I'm gonna just cry myself to sleep everynight. All I've ever wanted came true. Accompanied with all the other nonsense that I wished never happened. I have no idea what's wrong. If I could turn back time, i would wanna go back to those days that I was the one suffering instead of you. To everyone, I may be this unbreakable bundle of joy that is untouchable. But inside, i'm just another girl shattering to pieces with a broken heart. This feeling sucks. It sucks to know I'm like dedicating mean to myself. And it sucks to know that that particular person ain't telling you what to do, ain't attempting to comfort you. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LIFE I LED BEFORE ALL THIS MEGA DRIFTING. THROWN INTO A GARBAGE CAN. That's what happened.

What a title ain't it :) HEHEHEH. Life hasn't been really good, I din do really well for CTs, a.k.a. I did rather badly. ZOMG. I did a mini-mindmap just now. Which was really basically the only form of mugging I did today. Which I feel damn guilty and bad about T.T Ohkayyssss... Now I'm bracing myself to get chided by my Comp tchr. Whose gonna screw the whole class up bout not doing our work. Comforting part bout the sentence, whole class :D bwaahahhahah.

Waahahahahhahah This day is just The Best Day <3 I woke up in the morning, and the radio greeted me with Sparks Fly :) Which is just totally such a motivation to conquering what today has gotten for me :D Next next next, Rachel actually became uber uber nice :D And lemme watch the Sparks Fly MV with her Iphone!! :D YAHOOOO <3 Teeheheheh :) And it's like uber sweet kaysss xD Then after that LA test on power and leadership and goodness knows why i chose power over leadership while yesterday I was praying hard that leadership would come out :O I'm weird xD Hmmm.... So after school went to Tamp to eat with Alicia, Rachel, HuiZhi and Samantha :D So epic can! Had fun :D Hope tmr will be better <3 8)

Alot has been through me these days. I suddenly rmb all the things that I shouldn't rmb. It's like this time capsule safe-keeping the memories opening up all of a sudden. I just can't explain it. Whatever I do, it reminds me of you. Been thinking alot about how people aren't who they seem they are. The people whom I least expect to be boring and eww with zero interest level to me turns out to be amazingly interesting. Never judge a book by its cover. I learnt how important dance is to me. It's like everytime before a performance i would be freaking out and nerve-wrecked. However, when I start dancing it just comes naturally and nothing in the world seems more important. Through it all, I learnt how to ignore. It's just how people gossip about me. About my every move, how annoying, bitchy I am. But it all doesn't matter to me anymore. It's just meaningless to think about what they say. Just be who I am born to be. And that's good enough. It's unnecessary to please people. Bcoz, I wasn't born to do so. "When you grow older, you'd gradually find out that having a bunch of friends is meaningless, what's more important is a few friends that truly care about you, and is forever there for you". This is finally understood by me. It's just this natural instinct of mine to stop talking for a moment and just watch the people, my friends around me. I noticed the ppl surrounded with loads of friends, and those with just a few of them. Guess what, the group with a few of them produced much more laughter and smiles in comparison. This may be due to the fact that when you're with lesser people, you can sorta focus on them. Focus on what makes all of you common and friends. In a larger group on the other hand, you may just have another friend to lean on. However, if those few friends you have all build a strong rapport for one another, then, I don't see a reason for that. Never live with the thought that you have everything. And that ever ever after is just one wish away. Live knowing that you have to work for everything that you want in life. Things always happen for a reason. To be able to meet a person and have the person stay in your life also has a reason behind it. Even if that person is just another girl/guy, that person still has some significance to you. As just another bitch? Or another bestfriend for life you can keep? This is to be determined by you and only you. In this sense, it's all up to me whether i want to give you the chance and accept you. However, sometimes, I just can't do that. And I'm living with it.

Note: I don't care if your class is the top scorer for that project. In fact, I don't give a damn. So it's ohkay, you can save bitching about in front of my face. ZOMG. Apart from that, I feel so awesome when i learnt the 1min cip dance (which im getting 6 hours points for it) in like 30 mins i think :) WHOOTS. Today, I was damn happy for no apparent reason :) BWAAHAHHAAHAHHA. Wheeee next week have loong weekend :) 5 DAYS!!!! :) 3cheers! So, i've fallen in love with Padini-slash-PDI :) IT HAS THE AWESOMEST SHIRTS KAYSSS xD Wink wink ;) Hmmmmm.... I shall find out what other crap i've got to post :) ttfn :)

I finally got rid of the inbalance-ness experience I have been feeling the past two days. I'm on concrete now :D Finally. Will upload the pics later. When i manage to get them in the com :D So i came back with loads of salt applied to me body. Which i do not fancy psh. But the sand was supah special awesome :) Its like totally nice and soft and everything. I just figured I <3 Snorkeling :D Teeheheh :D Now i'm sitting down in front of the com tryna get myself to study- Failing In Progress Though :D Wink.

Embraced the moment when we were screaming LONG LIVE :) I was over the moon, into the galaxy and no words could express how I felt when I heard 1C! :) ITS MY LIFE :D So we hugged each other and it was a really sweet moment for us all :)

Looking through twitter, saw this awesome girl who got to meet Taylor Swift. I was in awe and filled with jealousy instantaneously. This isn't fair. I promise myself, I'll meet her someday, talk to her someday :D I would. I believe. Science test today din screw up :) PROUD OF MYSELF. I'd this supahh awesome hairstyle today :D <3 Loving it :) YAYY EDS tmr. No i have to face YOU again. Hey EDS is not some clothes company, who don't need fibers kays. Zzz. Noe where you stand. Psh. Anyways, you promised. You broke it. Stop acting in front of seniors. Coz you fail big time.

You're the best thing I never had.

Haven't been blogging lately :) Teeheheh. So now, I'm in com class and ermh, my teacher is awesomely late :) *claps* And Idk how ta hyperlink :D Oops. His talking to the 4 walls in my lab :D i hope he finds someone submitting our assignment :D So now, everyone's worried bout chengyu test while I'm still blogging down here. Hahaha. Epic start of the day :P Yesterday and the day before, I don't think I remember anything much :D Teeheheh. Its just studying and studying LOL Lydia so cute. I find actually Egyptian history is kinda interesting :D Isn't it awesome to make this discovery?! =) So later I'm meeting my EDS mates to have fun <3 bwaahhahahah YAYY.  

Teeheheh :) My bro's finally back from the KK hospital (Don't ever stay there, I don't like the food c(: )

Sooo... I woke up like supahh dupahh early for a Sunday morning to go ballet. Ohkay. So that was fine with me. But what wasn't was that i had to do like 140 crunches which suck max cannn... Then after that i half-fainted throughout the entire class. And had to survive seeing sucky purple lil. stars. Which is horrible miserable and terrible. The worse part of all was that there's ballet aso later onnnnn :( Zzzzz.... And the rest of em' left without me for MACS. But i get to eat abalone at home which is splendid :) <3 Teeheheh. Ohkay.. End of crapping now :)

This post is dedicated to a bitch-slash-bimbo-slash-awesome person I love ttm... Whom I knew for barely less than 1 year :D I love her ttm for being supahh awesome and crazy and random and retarded :D Soooo... this girl wanted me to dedicate an entire post to her... And here I am doing it!!! :D BWAAHHAHAH..... Ohkay, so this person is this person whom i know through facebook, whom i lent her my newspaper without knowing she's chloe, who doesn't give a shit about studying. And a very very good companion :D So without her, i would be emoing still... HAHHA :) So I need great and awesome friends like her much more than i need a thousand and agazillion friends that doesn't know me well, doesn't cheer me up when im sad, and doesn't get retarded with me :) I LOVE YOU CHLOE :D

Today ended up being nothing but screwed. So i was supposedly supposed to go to school for dance with Chinmy, Angel and idk who else. But when i woke up in the morning, my mum suddenly just din allow me to go and just keep scolding me. WHICH IS LIKE WTH, I was supahh supahh idk how to sayy luh but pissed. Then i ended up rotting at home and blogging down here. Zzzzzzzzz... So i had awesome Chloe texting me over crappp :D:D I love her max. I also had a "You're Prettier" competition with Angel :D Chinmy was supahh special and awesome too kayyys :D:D:D:D Everything seems much peaceful-er now that i have chilled. Oh, forgetting to mention how awesome EDS dancers are :D:D:D:D Teeheheh.... Chloe, read my next post :) BWAHAHAHHA

Oopsieee :* Dead blog for 4 months already!!! HEHEH. However, I think I'm gonna be back to blogging. For a while at least :) Loving my blog skin. Loving 1 Courageux :) <3 Life has been peaceful except the appearance of some random bitch. LOL. HEH. Watching TV now, blogging tomorrow again :)

Sincere apologies for not updating this blogg :( Nothing much has been going on in my life tho :'C Now lemme type out what i've been doing-slash-slacking this hol. Monday: Great, just great, I forgot what i did. But since its so not significant then i can give it a pass. Oh wait, I also went to my grandma's house to visit Felicia and Edwin (my cousins. ) Tuesday: Couzziie's day off, went to eat Pizza Hut together( And my absolute favourite Hawaiian :) After which, went to watch Big Mommas, with her, my mum and my bro. It's pretty hilarious ^^ an entertainment sure enough... Wednesday: Went to Orchard to eat Ben & Jerry -YUM- Ate cookies and cream (Standard)Then after which went to the Singapore Flyer to eat at the newly opened hawker or sth liddat. Pretty cool. Feels ancient :) Thursdayy: YAY :P had a super super zaii-slash-small class outing with Alicia, Chinmy, Hui Zhi, WenTing, Lydia, Rui Qi, Jordan and Rachel :) It was like the best day EVERR during the hols for me :DD So went to meet Alicia and Chinmy and Jordan( Whom i didn't recognise at first) at Pasir Ris Mrt Station. After which, went to Chinmy's so modern, so pretty and so-can-trip-you housee. Watched Lai Bi Xiao Xin at first. Then Rachel and I nagged (well mostly its me) that we wanted to watch Ming Zhong Zhu Ding Wo Ai Ni :) But ended up watching Enchanted ( which apparently almost bored Jordan to death- BUT HE STILL WATCHED XD) After that the others went to fetch Lydia and RuiQi (coz they later then come mahh) except Jordan and Rachel and I. Played tumblin towers with Rachel and Jordan( who was reluctant at first but since Rach and I are SO zaii he PLAYED) aand guess what, he was the only one who didn't tumble the tower! haha.. weird. It was super intense tho :) So next, when the others came back, Jordan Rachel and I decided to go to wild wild wet XD Damn fun. Since I was screaming alot. Played the U-Lar-Lar four times XD Then etc. etc. After that went to take Neoprints. And JORDAN TOOK IT!!! we were soo very surprised. Then, went back to Chinmy house with the bought cup noodles and got owned. They got HuiZhi and Wenting to cry after the pretend quarell and letting us get pwned XD Well, Jordan was as usual, BOCHAP. Well, then I was like "Go and eat. Go and eat XD" teeehehe.. SO shocked when realised its a prank after they played truth or dare -.- haha. After that go ECP for BBQ. Audrey found us there with Chicken Nuggets :D YAY Audrey!!!! I left earlier. EVEN b4 the fire was ready XD So it was said that they manage to light the fire in the end. Friday: While my bro went to watch World Invasion, i was facebooking at home. And was bored. OBV. Went to watch Red Riding Hood with my bro, JiaYing, JiaEr and JiaHao :) It was okiie I guess..... So well, my awesome nawt bro watched two movies in a day. Pffft.. Saturday: Went to my aunt's house warming and had killing Ballet, Coz on pointe. Then riteee, the rest wore toepads then then then i nehber bring lerhhhhh :( Sunday: Woke up early in the morn for another ballet lesson :( Sighhhhhh So I guess my hols are ending liaooo... sadd :( Thanks for reading this extra lengthy post XD